Ахуительнейшая вещь.Я бы даже перевел, но я не знаю, "как говорят игрушки" (плюс у меня еще один перевод висит).
Именно то, что "прячется под самым носом" - знающие поймут, что к чему, И ОЦЕНЯТ, а незнающие даже не задумаются дважды (подумаешь, игрушечному медвежонку хочется, чтоб его покрепче обняли).
Пожалуй, этот автор станет третьим моим любимым в фандоме - именно за "как пишет".
Плюс
это.
Тони нарушает закон - есть. Тони разбирается с последствиями нарушения - есть. Тони нарушает закон Во Имя любви - есть. Капитан Роджерс с метками из спальни - есть, есть, yes, одадетка, я буду в своей койке.
And the ending is glorious beyond compare, especially Captain’s attitude: “I’m not government property” and “ask him about two-for-one deal”…
на всякий случай
“Look, if this is about the jet-fueled roller skates incident, that wasn’t technically my fault.” Tony sighed, taking the legal papers from the short straw agent sent to deal with him. He flipped through them for anything outstanding. “I mean, I invented them, obviously, but I’m not responsible for any idiotic stunts Sam pulls while in them. I guess I’m technically responsible for daring him to do an axel flip from one quinjet to another, but he had the wings on so it’s not like he was in any real danger. He was the one who took me up on it and Clint’s the one who crashed the damn jet, so they’re the ones you should be hounding.”
“That’s…someone should talk to you about that too.” The agent frowned, pushed his glasses up a little. “But that’s not—”
“Yeah, I know, they’re not billionaires, whatever,” Tony muttered, flipping a page. Blah blah blah, damage of government property, blah blah blah, marks above the collar are prohibited and the creation of one is defacement of—wait, what? “What’s this about collars?”
“You’re being fined for the defacement of government properly,” The agent informed him all too seriously, “Specifically, the marking of Commander Rogers above the collar.”
“The what? I didn’t—” Tony cut himself off as the memory of that morning came to mind. “Wait, you’re fining me for giving my boyfriend a hickey?”
“In layman’s terms, yes.”
“In layman’s—seriously?” Tony flipped through the pages again incredulously.
“Yes. You have sixty days to—”
“How much for another one?”
The agent was visibly surprised. “What?”
“Is it a fixed cost, or does it increase every time?” Tony flipped to page three, checked for a pricing model.
“Most people just…stop, sir.”
“Most people aren’t billionaires with exceptionally hot boyfriends.” Tony winked at the kid, just to make him squirm. “So how much for another one? And is it one price if I give him a couple at a time, or am I charged for each mark?”
“Uh—”
“Either way I should probably give you my card number, you can keep it on file instead of running back and forth all the time.”
“I—I don’t think we’re set up for that—”
“Sir,” JARVIS interrupted, “You have a call from Commander Rogers.”
“Right, hold that thought.” Tony held up a hand to the agent, pulled out his cell to take the call. “Steve?”
“Coulson’s messing with you.”
“What?”
“One of his agents is coming down to deliver papers to you about ‘defacing’ me, but I’m not government property and—” Steve sounded like he was winding up for one of his big Freedom And Liberty For All speeches, so Tony cut him off.
“Yeah, I’ve got it right here. I’m asking the agent about pricing models now, but even at an increasing price it’d be a while before we’d have to actually consider marking you in other…” Tony dropped his voice to low and seductive, mostly to watch the agent go tomato red. “More interesting places…”
“Coulson’s man is still standing there, isn’t he?”
Tony grinned, winked at the agent again. “And totally traumatized, yeah.”
“Ask him if you can get a two for one deal if they’re on the same day,” Steve suggested.
“Way ahead of you babe.” Tony tugged his wallet out of his back pocket